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Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts

Thursday

Precious moments



Quiet time can enhance a child’s development.CHILDREN need time and space to grow happily and healthily. One may say, all children have is time. But things have changed a great deal for children in our society. The idea that children have their own time to do what they want does not hold true anymore. Every minute of their time is being stretched and occupied with some kind of structured learning programme. There are no free moments for relaxation and pondering.

Parents of kindergarten kids are concerned that their children cannot cope with Year One and send them for tuition classes. A private tutor related this to me: One student, a three-year-old child, has been with her since she was two. Lately, her mother finds her unmotivated. She does not want to sit down for lessons anymore. She just wants to walk around and look at things. Her mother is worried that she will not be able to be on par with her peers. Her private tutor was told to encourage her to do more lessons so that she will stay ahead of her peers.

Many parents are worried that their children’s preschool education cannot prepare them for formal schooling. They tend to pressure their children to take on more than they can handle. Many children at a very young age complain that they are tired. These children are not only tired physically but emotionally and spiritually, too.

A child’s spiritual development means more than just teaching him to observe a specific religion. It is the basic human energy from which we draw meaning in our lives. Children need to be in touch with nature and realise their place in the world.

Children are gifted with a natural spiritual sense. According to Jean Grasso Fitzpatrick, author of Something More, Nurturing Your Child’s Spiritual Growth: “The greatest challenge we all face as spiritual nurturers is to become attuned to the young child’s authentic spirituality which, unlike our own, is such an integrated part of life. Children’s exuberant spirituality is reflected in everything they do. A child shows us the extraordinary in the ordinary.”

To keep this wonderful gift in children, parents must nurture its very presence and provide an environment in which it can flourish. Children need time to remain silent and calm. Growing up in a noisy world where traffic, the TV, computer and the radio is everywhere, children have little chance of experiencing what silence is all about. Silence is very important to a child’s spiritual growth. They need silence to know more about themselves and their world.

So whenever possible, take your three-year-old out hand in hand, for a walk in the garden or a stroll in the park. Sit down on a patch of grass and close your eyes without saying a word. Moments like these can allow your child to notice more things in her environment. She may tell you: “I hear the birds singing.” Or “I hear the wind talking to me.”

One primary child complained that he had too many classes to attend and had no time for himself. His mother asked him what he wanted to do so that he would be happy. He responded: “Nothing. I want to do nothing.”

When children are bombarded with all kinds of activities, they feel themselves “drowning” and are not able to understand the purpose of pages of writing. He only does his work to avoid punishment. Eventually, he will lose all motivation to learn because he sees no purpose in it.

Children who spend hours in front of the television and the computer find it hard to cope with the world of nature and appreciate the beauty around them. It is important that parents foster the sense of awe and wonder in children before they are numb to what is in our world. During a parenting session, I asked parents to allow their children to hug a tree.

One lady in the audience immediately responded: “The trees are full of ants. It is too unhealthy to do it.” Our children today are kept away from nature because parents feel they gain nothing from it.

Childhood is a time when children can be children, not miniature adults who have to maximise their time to fit in so many things. It is every child’s right to discover the world in his own time. He does not need to rush through things in order to stay ahead.

When things get tough and rough for children, they should be allowed to take their time to just stare at the sky.

Whatever wife lectures the violent baffle.

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Saturday

Learning begins at home



THE most important learning for the child comes from his family. Parents are his first teachers. The child learns about his world and how to be a good person from the very day he is born. His sense of self comes from how his parents treat him and respond to him. Child experts often advise parents to tune in to their children from an early age. Children’s self-esteem is nurtured early in life as they interact with their parents in a positive environment.

When a child gets into trouble, parents often blame themselves for being too lenient or too strict with him. Some parents even blame the child for being naughty or disobedient. The truth of the matter is, children are the products of either good parenting or bad parenting and not because their parents are good or bad. When we make mistakes with our children, often times, we are not aware of ways to manage our children correctly.

We can do a better job with our children when we understand the different stages of development. As children mature, parents need to manage their children’s behaviour differently. You cannot talk to your teenager as you did when he was six years old. Listen to what your child says and find ways to support his interests.

Communication plays a vital role in our daily interactions with family members. We need to understand what they hear and see, and be able to send messages in ways that they can understand and accept. Children need adults to guide them in choosing the right words to express themselves. Teaching by example is the most effective tool for parents. Many have found that their words fall on deaf ears when they do not practise what they preach to their young ones.

A mother of two school-going boys remarked that today’s teenagers are easily influenced by their peers. She feared for her children’s welfare. She wondered how she can protect her sons from negative influences. Children tend to draw closer to their peers when their parents refuse to acknowledge them or listen to them. Their peers, on the other hand, make them feel accepted and loved. They never question them or belittle their ideas.

Self-esteem is how the person feels and thinks about himself. Feeling loved, valued, wanted and respected will make children feel good about who they are. Parents can create such an environment for them to grow up in. Once your children are confident, they can try new things and explore their world.

Parents must allow their children to make mistakes so that they can learn to cope and find out what they can do to succeed. Like a toddler learning to walk, he will fail many times before he achieves his goal. But once he manages to do what he sets out to do, he will experience an overwhelming sense of pride.

Many children feel unloved because they are scolded or punished frequently. The foundation of their relationship with their parents is built on fear and violence. While parents consider their acts of punishments as a form of discipline, their children do not share this understanding. They cannot accept the fact that their parents inflict pain on them to teach them a lesson.

As children grow, parents must be prepared to allow them to take charge of their behaviour. When parents respect their children for their sense of independence, they will live up to parental expectations.

My five-year-old nephew once declared: “I have no freedom. My parents make me do everything.” He feels helpless when he is not allowed to do simple tasks for himself or decide what he wants to do or say.

In today’s competitive world, our children need to know that being different is acceptable. We do not want our children to be carbon-copies. They can have their own likes and dislikes. They should not feel the need to submit to societal pressure to look the same and talk the same way. Parents can show their children how to value different things that they learn from others.

We live in a multicultural society. Parents’ attitude can make a lot of difference in how their children regard other people and accept their ways. Bring the various cultures into your children’s lives through stories, songs and food.

Hopefully, one day our children will grow into mature adults who do not discriminate against others.

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